Passing The Hat: Deartháir's Eleanor

//Passing The Hat: Deartháir's Eleanor

Passing The Hat: Deartháir's Eleanor

My Eleanor, the one who always gets away.


Around this time last year, we ran a series of articles about what was our phantom Eleanor, that car that we’ve always lusted after, that car we’ve come so close to owning, or have wanted to own for so long that it is starting to feel like a unicorn, always just managing to elude us.
For me, you may recall, that car was a Mk II Jaguar.

If you wouldn't love to spend your commute in there, you can just get the hell out right now.


Well, because he is an evil bastard, our own Mr. Scroggs felt it necessary to tempt me over the weekend with this particularly choice eBay auction that, at the time of writing, still bears a reasonable bidding price, although the reserve is not yet met. Now we’re all familiar with eBay auctions, replete with Comic Sans, claiming that they have the best car for sale EVAR, speaking in wholly exaggerated terms about the stupendousness of their vehicle’s performance. This seller makes similar lofty claims, but makes them in such a way that there seems no bluff, bluster or bravado involved. The interior, he claims, is not new, but virtually flawless. The exterior paint, flawless. The mechanicals and electricals, flawless, despite all odds. And the seller seems to know how lofty his claims must be, as he offers the name of the mechanic involved in its restoration, offers any proof required, and invites buyers to see for themselves.
These are, as I’m no doubt you’ll agree, all the things that the buyer of a classic car wants to hear. But is it too good to be true? One cannot help but also get the feeling that this is certainly not this seller’s first kick at the can. It almost seems that the seller has learned every phrase that will make a buyer jump, and seems eager to put all of them in his ad together. This is either the greatest Jaguar one could hope to find, or one of the slickest salesmen ever.

I don't expect you to understand.


Regardless, I don’t have the cash to buy it. But I will gratefully accept donations towards my cause of owning the one car that has always topped my most-desirable list, and remains on my list of cars I absolutely must, no questions, no alternatives, must own before I die.
Anyone? Anyone? Donations? Anyone?

By |2011-09-19T09:00:28+00:00September 19th, 2011|All Things Hoon|25 Comments

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25 Comments

  1. Alff September 19, 2011 at 9:40 am - Reply

    I do understand, believe me, as these are absolutely beautiful. Unfortunately, excellence comes at a price. As for the affordable ones, well, let's just say I've seen one too many gathering dust or sounding like a pocketful of change as they go over a speed bump.

  2. SSurfer321 September 19, 2011 at 9:42 am - Reply

    DEAR SIR,
    CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL
    HAVING CONSULTED WITH MY COLLEAGUES AND BASED ON THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE NIGERIAN CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY, I HAVE THE PRIVILEGE TO REQUEST FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF $47,500,000.00 (FORTY SEVEN MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS) INTO YOUR ACCOUNTS. THE ABOVE SUM RESULTED FROM AN OVER-INVOICED CONTRACT, EXECUTED COMMISSIONED AND PAID FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS (5) AGO BY A FOREIGN CONTRACTOR. THIS ACTION WAS HOWEVER INTENTIONAL AND SINCE THEN THE FUND HAS BEEN IN A SUSPENSE ACCOUNT AT THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA APEX BANK.
    THE TRANSFER IS RISK FREE ON BOTH SIDES. I AM AN ACCOUNTANT WITH THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC). IF YOU FIND THIS PROPOSAL ACCEPTABLE, WE SHALL REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING DOCUMENTS:
    (A) YOUR BANKER'S NAME, TELEPHONE, ACCOUNT AND FAX NUMBERS.
    (B) YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS — FOR CONFIDENTIALITY AND EASY COMMUNICATION.
    (C) YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER STAMPED AND SIGNED.
    ALTERNATIVELY WE WILL FURNISH YOU WITH THE TEXT OF WHAT TO TYPE INTO YOUR LETTER-HEADED PAPER, ALONG WITH A BREAKDOWN EXPLAINING, COMPREHENSIVELY WHAT WE REQUIRE OF YOU. THE BUSINESS WILL TAKE US THIRTY (30) WORKING DAYS TO ACCOMPLISH.
    PLEASE REPLY URGENTLY.
    BEST REGARDS

  3. scroggzilla September 19, 2011 at 9:51 am - Reply

    I'll have you know that I am NOT an "evil bastard"……..(stops, feels horns on forehead, remembers that he's an insurance professional)……nevermind.
    Carry on!!
    <img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4039/4175297524_77616cbfa5.jpg&quot; width="500" height="334" alt="62 monte carlo rally walton robson jaguar mk2">

    • mdharrell September 19, 2011 at 9:59 am - Reply

      Well, it is fairly evil to have dug up a photo which seems to show one moving under its own power.
      (I assume it's really a collapsed suspension, but still good enough to beguile the unwary. Nice work!)

  4. Maymar September 19, 2011 at 9:53 am - Reply

    I can't make any donations, but I'm aware of a complete basketcase Mk.II down an alley in Toronto (incidentally, about a block from Grand Touring and Gentry Lane – the two British car dealers in the city). Given that it's been sitting there for a couple years, how much would they miss it if it ended up on a truck to Alberta?

    • Deartháir September 19, 2011 at 10:12 am - Reply

      Your mission, should you choose to accept it…
      Hey, if the engine, chrome and wood trim are there, everything else is fixable. And probably should be fixed anyhow.

  5. domino_vitali September 19, 2011 at 10:02 am - Reply

    i completely understand. i think we all do, that's why we're here. 🙂
    i wish i could contribute to such a good cause.

  6. dukeisduke September 19, 2011 at 10:11 am - Reply

    If I could pry it out of the UK, I'd like to have the Inspector Morse Mk II:
    http://www.morsejaguar.co.uk/index.html

  7. muthalovin September 19, 2011 at 10:21 am - Reply

    Reasonable price for a pretty awesome ride. Sadly, reasonable and affordable are not the same thing.

  8. OA5599 September 19, 2011 at 10:29 am - Reply

    That looks amazingly like the one I gave away last year, except mine was in a bit better condition. I wish I knew at the time that you were interested in these; for the cost of shipping, you could have had it.

    • Deartháir September 19, 2011 at 11:26 am - Reply

      Well if you'd pay a little more attention to me once in a while…
      I mean… we don't even snuggle anymore…!

      • $kaycog September 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm - Reply

        Hmmm…….interesting.

  9. MrHowser September 19, 2011 at 10:38 am - Reply

    I will put in $5.

  10. mdharrell September 19, 2011 at 11:37 am - Reply

    Speaking of passing the hat, profits from Hoonimerch could be placed towards things like this Mk II. Just sayin'.
    <img src="http://hooniverse.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Hooque-521×720.jpg&quot; width="250">
    Mostly I want a chance to buy at least one of those "H" patches.

    • engineerd September 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm - Reply

      The weather is beginning to turn. Which sucks in every way except one…I can break out my Hooque!

  11. Rust-MyEnemy September 19, 2011 at 1:42 pm - Reply

    <img src="http://www.carsus.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/mitsuoka-viewt.jpg&quot; width=450>
    Would be a far more sensible choice, and easier to park, too. I've even heard that, with skillful ECU adjustment, they can be made to run with the Rube Goldberg aplomb that Joe Lucas envisaged.

    • facelvega September 19, 2011 at 1:47 pm - Reply

      the horror, the horror

    • The Professor September 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm - Reply

      Isn't that like calling a Fiat a Ferrari because they're both Italian?

      • Rust-MyEnemy September 19, 2011 at 3:13 pm - Reply

        You've lost me.
        (Mitsuoka Viewt, Japanese pastiche of the Jag MkII based on the Nissan March, beloved by its home nation for combining "heritage" with modern mechanicals. Universally derided outside Japan but, definitely, easier to park.)

        • The Professor September 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm - Reply

          Ah, my mistake. I thought it was British as well. My eyes and brain cells are old.

          • Rust-MyEnemy September 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm

            Mine are just lazy…

    • Charles_Barrett September 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm - Reply

      Give it the two-tone silver-over-black paint job and hide my glasses, and I'd be thrilled to be seen driving that.

  12. The Professor September 19, 2011 at 2:59 pm - Reply

    That's a really pretty Jag, Deartháir. There will be other chances though.

  13. P.Frere September 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm - Reply

    Beautiful car. But pass on this one and go straight to JD Classics for a Mk II with R+P, modern cooling and engine management, modern brakes and even an irs setup.

  14. Black Steelies September 21, 2011 at 5:38 pm - Reply

    Putting it off and saving up makes ownership that much more fulfilling.

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