Last Call- Act your Age Edition

//Last Call- Act your Age Edition

Last Call- Act your Age Edition

This humorous pictogram omits the fact that a lot of us were conceived in the backs of cars too.

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By |2011-10-06T18:00:12+00:00October 6th, 2011|Last Call|52 Comments

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  1. Van Sarockin October 6, 2011 at 6:26 pm - Reply

    And if you're doing it right, you can get them all sideways.

    • Jeff_Glucker October 6, 2011 at 6:34 pm - Reply

      1st comment, and the thread is over -well done

    • Scandinavian Flick October 6, 2011 at 8:54 pm - Reply

      Hoon for life.
      The wheels may change, but they keep on spinning.

  2. Smells_Homeless October 6, 2011 at 6:39 pm - Reply

    Aha, but how many of us now own the cars we were conceived in? <Raises hand, with a curious combination of embarrassment and pride.>

    • Alff October 6, 2011 at 6:59 pm - Reply

      No need for embarrassment. I wish I owned the Corvair.

      • Tanshanomi October 6, 2011 at 9:20 pm - Reply

        What, like, you dad took you aside one day and said, "Son, your mother and I conceived you in a Corvair up on Cliff Drive. Then we went to Winsteads for burgers. She wore a plaid miniskirt that night."
        TMI, Dad.

        • Alff October 7, 2011 at 5:39 am - Reply

          Something like that but with a bit more cruelty…
          "If I hadn't knocked up your mother in the back of that damn Corvair, I wouldn't have had to marry her" (Said on the eve of the divorce).

        • FuzzyPlushroom October 7, 2011 at 5:46 am - Reply

          Plaid miniskirt? Now I understand…

    • tempesjo October 6, 2011 at 7:36 pm - Reply

      Do you think you'll have a kid you can pass the car down to, who will keep it running and use it to take you to your grave?
      I wasn't conceived in a car, but I understand your pride, as the hand-me-down 40 year old stained mattress I sleep on each night is a constant reminder of the various fluids that joined together to create me.

      • Smells_Homeless October 6, 2011 at 7:45 pm - Reply

        Screw that! It's MY LeMans. Theoretical kid can get his own. Besides, he'd have to fight mine back to life.

    • dead_elvis October 6, 2011 at 10:29 pm - Reply

      "Pervert" is a relative term, right?

      • Smells_Homeless October 7, 2011 at 7:49 am - Reply


  3. lilwillie October 6, 2011 at 7:02 pm - Reply

    Lots of us got our first piece of tail in/on a vehicle also. Then our second, third, ya, car sex was the best.

    • Tanshanomi October 6, 2011 at 9:12 pm - Reply

      Never even attempted to have sex in a car. It can't be ideal. Logistically, that is.

      • Scandinavian Flick October 6, 2011 at 9:13 pm - Reply

        How can it not be ideal? It's the two greatest things in life: Cars and sex.

        • FuzzyPlushroom October 7, 2011 at 5:47 am - Reply

          Even beyond that… c'mon, you've owned a wagon, right? If you can find somewhere sufficiently private, just fold down the seats, throw down a blanket and things are good.

      • njhoon October 7, 2011 at 2:18 am - Reply

        It also depends on the a…, ahem, ride.
        <img src="; width="600">

        • C³-Cool Cadillac Cat October 7, 2011 at 6:21 am - Reply

          That car was very close to indestructible.
          I haven't seen one in a while, but it wasn't like they were collected.

      • lilwillie October 7, 2011 at 4:15 am - Reply

        '79 Ford Fairmont Wagon. Banging in the back and banging gears on the 1,320.
        "Honey, stay in the back, over the right rear, traction is a issue tonight."

  4. fodder650 October 6, 2011 at 7:03 pm - Reply

    Shouldnt their be a balding man driving a convertible between the SUV and the motorhome to?

    • P161911 October 6, 2011 at 7:48 pm - Reply

      Yeah, my dad turns 66 on Monday, he bought a 2003 Saab 9-3 Convertible a few months ago.

    • Tanshanomi October 6, 2011 at 9:14 pm - Reply

      Or a motorcycle. But in that case it jumps right to the wheelchair.

      • B72 October 7, 2011 at 5:41 am - Reply

        Yes. This should really be a decision tree.

        • pj134 October 7, 2011 at 8:21 am - Reply

          Note to self: When speaking of motorcycles, it is probably in bad taste to mention trees.

          • Tanshanomi October 7, 2011 at 8:31 am

            Or deer. Or Grandma. Or booze.

  5. P161911 October 6, 2011 at 7:49 pm - Reply

    Hopefully by the time I need the motorized scooter I can figure out a way to fit a Tesla drivetrain in a HoverRound.

  6. TurboBrick October 6, 2011 at 8:16 pm - Reply

    Have you guys tried the new "cheaper" VW Jetta yet? I just drove one this afternoon and I'm outright shocked of how cheap it felt. Vinyl seats, laggy throttle response and interior that feels like it was made out of recycled Happy Meal toys. Even the damn steering wheel was made out of that coarse, hard plastic!

    • dukeisduke October 6, 2011 at 8:24 pm - Reply

      It's the Toyotafication of Volkswagen. And Herr Piech thinks that VW will sell 800,000 cars per year in the US by 2018? He's delusional.

      • TurboBrick October 6, 2011 at 9:07 pm - Reply

        Well they used to be VOLKS wagen, at least until they started thinking that they were a wagen for "better" volks, so them building lots of entry level cars is nothing new. But I've driven a couple of pretty low-spec Mark 2 Golfs and they felt less crappy than that.

    • Devin October 6, 2011 at 8:43 pm - Reply

      The little screen between the gauges isn't big enough for the area outlined for the little screen between the gauges, which makes it look like you could get a bigger screen but were too cheap to do so. However, there is no way to buy a bigger screen, so no matter what you do it'll always look like you're too cheap even if you bought the most expensive one. A problem which would have been completely avoided by designing the gauge cluster a bit more intelligently, and that lack of attention to detail means I never want the cheap Jetta.
      I don't actually have OCD.

      • dead_elvis October 6, 2011 at 8:57 pm - Reply

        OCD is likely to mean Old Car Disorder (Delusion?) around here. Even if you don't have it, you're still welcomed!
        But you might have a touch of some sort of compulsive obsessiveness.

        • CptSevere October 6, 2011 at 9:02 pm - Reply

          OCD? I has it.

          • dead_elvis October 6, 2011 at 10:32 pm

            I assume most of the regulars here are afflicted by one form of OCD or another, regardless of how they deal with it. I deal by making my DD an '87 Volvo, and my newest vehicle a '99 Kawasaki ZRX1100.
            I realize that by certain Hooniverse standards, I'm practically on the bleeding edge of vehicular technology.

      • TurboBrick October 6, 2011 at 9:02 pm - Reply

        What was up with the grayness of the displays? The info cluster type was in gray, and the radio thing was black type on a gray background. I suppose it was intended to have some kind of e-reader effect, but to me it just looked gloomy. My wife and I both agreed that we will not be shopping for VW's in the future if they're like that. Mostly what annoyed both of us was the touchy "nothing..nothing…STOP!" brakes, throttle lag and the transmission that just felt like it was never in the right gear. And it's not like we're super picky, we drive ancient Volvos with about half a mil on the clock between them.

        • Scandinavian Flick October 6, 2011 at 9:11 pm - Reply

          So your Volvos are just broken in?

          • TurboBrick October 6, 2011 at 9:31 pm

            Pretty much. I just swapped my heater hose which had developed a pinhole leak, date stamp "10/87".

        • Devin October 6, 2011 at 9:24 pm - Reply

          I think those displays on stereos are just extremely cheap, I've got a Matrix* and it's got roughly the same thing on its stereo, though I think the VW lights up blue at night and Toyota goes for orange. It actually doesn't work at all in sub zero temperatures, which is great when you live in Canada.
          *A much better car than everyone says it is, as cheaply made as the stereo might be.

    • Scandinavian Flick October 6, 2011 at 8:59 pm - Reply

      Sounds like the Kia I got as a rental loaner once while my Bimmer was in the shop… The interior felt like it was supposed to be kid proof. Like it was made out of that hard, textured, rubberized plastic for kids 2-5 y/o.
      It did get incredible mileage considering I was either stopped, or had the pedal on the floor the entire time…

      • TurboBrick October 6, 2011 at 9:16 pm - Reply

        The '08 Focus I drove a while back had that soft rubbery crap plastic.. it felt better than this, though I kept thinking how do you clean that stuff up once the grooves fill up with muck. This is like cheap toy plastic, like cheap Walgreens playsets or crap they hand to kids with fast food, with that really "dry" feel to them. Pontiac G8 parking brake lever was made out of that too. It just makes me want to douse it with 303 Protectant to try to get some moisture in the plastic and I keep thinking that it's going to explode into pieces on a cold day.
        I have a thing about textures, touching stuff like chalkboards or clay trinkets really creeps me out.

        • Scandinavian Flick October 6, 2011 at 9:23 pm - Reply

          I know exactly what you mean. It's especially bad when the steering wheel is made of that crap too… To spend a long commute holding onto that stuff is a perfect way to start your with a hardy "eyyuugh…." I'm no neat freak by any stretch, but it still creeps me out to think of the gunky build up in that stuff.

          • pj134 October 7, 2011 at 8:34 am

            Yeah, the driving reason behind me wanting to get rid of my 09 sonata is the whole "throttle on, throttle off" dynamic. The cars were actually built decently at this point, just the whole floor it to go and maintain speed, slam on brakes to stop doesn't work too well.

      • mr. mzs zsm msz esq October 7, 2011 at 8:10 am - Reply

        Psshaw Flick, accelerator all the way down is the most efficient way to go! It's like the car is drinking from a slurpie straw instead of coffee stirrer. Have you ever tried to drink from one of those, you'll get a nose bleed! And you get to where you are going faster that way, so less time on the road, clearly you burn less dinosaurs. Don't listen to the engineers, what do they know? After all they drive locomotives all day long and hose aren't even internal combustion!

        • McQueen October 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm - Reply

          This form of aggressive hyper Eco cool boost only works if you have a partner to bump draft with , and when parts fall of you can say it's on road weight reduction

  7. Alff October 6, 2011 at 9:14 pm - Reply

    [youtube p97y26A8yLo youtube]

    • FЯeeMan October 7, 2011 at 7:06 am - Reply

      That turned some remarkably tidy circles, considering it was bumping up the curb and hitting the door on something.

  8. B72 October 7, 2011 at 5:50 am - Reply

    Off topic –
    I just saw a guy driving to work in an MGB GT with a really loud exhaust, a lousy green paint job, wire wheels painted black, some sort of diagonal stiffener in the trunk area, and a dented grey primer hood with a bump in it to clear the aftermarket air cleaner.
    It was awesome. My day is now complete.

    • pj134 October 7, 2011 at 6:01 am - Reply

      … Yup.

    • P161911 October 7, 2011 at 6:27 am - Reply

      "diagonal stiffener", are you sure it wasn't part of a roll cage?

      • B72 October 7, 2011 at 8:15 am - Reply

        That was my first thought, but I didn't see any other tubes. I only had a minute to look while he was paused at the stop sign though.

  9. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat October 7, 2011 at 6:23 am - Reply

    I've been on/in many of these, though out-of-order. The last one isn't a good place to be, BTW. I can also say, I'm likely one of the few people in the world who has had a 40' diesel motorhome in an oversteer situation. Snow can work against you…though it was kinda neat having a machine that size in oppo.

    • McQueen October 7, 2011 at 1:20 pm - Reply

      I've been in the same situation coming back from snowmobiling in Stewart BC . Coming down a narrow , twisty road with a trailer full of sleds and no chains to be found , there is still a hole in the drivers seat where my ass puckered too many times

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